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| Ruth and Stacey at Two Writing Teachers host the Slice of Life every Tuesday. |
Lately I have really been reflecting about the way life turns out. It seems to me that life plans can come and go and they never seem to work out exactly as one had wanted. My big life plan was to fall in love and get married young so that I could be married a few years before having kids, but still have at least one child before turning 30. I made this plan in high school (never mind that I did not even have a boyfriend until the summer after I graduated).
My life plan started out well. I met my husband while studying abroad in Sevilla, Spain and brought him home with me. I was 22 on my wedding day. Then came the next part in the plan. My husband was not so sure he wanted kids at first, but I worked on it and he came around to the idea. It took us about six or seven years of being married to get through all the speed bumps in the road. It is another story for a different post, but lets just say that it took a LOT of work for my husband to feel at home in this country and for the two of us to feel like our marriage was centered and strong.
After this amount of time, I was ready to try for kids. After all, we had the strong relationship and had had multiple years to enjoy our time together before changing everything. Now was the time…and I could still have a baby before turning 30 if we hurried it up. So, we starting trying. And trying. And trying. After four years of trying to get pregnant, we finally decided to investigate what was going on. I am pretty sure that we waited so long because we didn’t want to hear what we knew we would probably hear. So two summers ago we obediently went through test after test and found out that the chances were awful for us to conceive. I won’t go into details, but we had some tough decisions to make and we are still trying to figure out our path. It was devastating for me, and still is, to think that I may end up having to settle for being childless. This was not my plan.
Another thing that was not in the plan? Being an auntie before being a mother. My stepbrother and his wife had a baby boy a little over two years ago. I love getting to spend time with my nephew. He is such a ham and we enjoy family dinners together. Now that he is talking more, his personality is really shining through.
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| Showing off his artwork on the phone. |
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| My nephew and my husband. |
And now, as of May 1st, I am an auntie again. This time it has been more special for me because it was my sister who was pregnant. I spent a lot of sleepless nights worrying about her since she was very sick throughout her pregnancy. But now she is healthy and we have a new baby girl in the family. I came out to California to visit and to help out when my sister goes back to work next week.
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| Me, the baby, and my sister. |
Looking at these amazing kids, I am so blessed to be an aunt. I will shower these two children with love and loud toys that annoy their parents. And I will hope that their parents have a chance to get back at my husband and me in the future. But for now, no more plans. Summertime is perfect for lazy days with no plan and fun hanging out with a baby.
Growing up I loved my aunts!!!! (Still love my aunts…hahaha!!) One of my aunts was younger than my parents and didn't have children when I was young. That was my favorite place to go. She had so much time for our visits. She did all kinds of fun things with us while we were with her. Unlike our parents who, though fabulous, were often busy with the day to day concerns of raising a family, she and my uncle seemed to just have time to hang out. I treasure those memories.
I can't even begin to imagine what a difficult journey it has been for you. I know there are no words I can add, but do understand the frustration when life doesn't go as planned — especially when the plan is so big and important.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Cathy
I'm sorry for all the sorry and angst in your journey but I am sure that those little people need you in their lives in ways none of you can even imagine today!
Thank you for sharing; this is just what I needed to hear today. It's interesting how hardly anything works out exactly as we plan in our minds. It's all about how we handle the hands we're dealt. Happiness can be found in any situation, regardless of where we thought we would find happiness before. Thanks again for getting me thinking and for sharing your story.
Rarely does life stay the course that we set out for it. I think it is trying to tell us to relax. What sweet babies you have in your life right now. I had to laugh at your loud toys plan. That is what we always considered when buying toys for friends. The louder the better.
You're so brave for going through this ordeal and then sharing it. Life has an interesting way of showing us its own plan, which is sometimes better than what we had in mind. Wait and see! 🙂
Oh, and I came upon your blog from Teachers Write!!
Thanks for your kind words Cathy. It was hard to put my story out there and I appreciate the warm reception.
I am sure this is true. Thanks!
I am glad that this helped you think about things in a different way. It is indeed very interesting to think about how things never really seem to turn out the way we plan.
Thanks! These are two cuties that I am thankful to have to love and enjoy.
I hope that this is the case for me. Thanks for your kind words. It was hard to be brave and put this story out there. I appreciate the support.
Andrea, your story so hit home for me. I know that longing for children so well. I was an auntie twice before a mom. I loved, loved, loved my niece and nephew and was always the aunt who would play in the pool, take them to the park, build the hard Lego kit on Christmas morning. At the same time, I longed for kids of my own. I never married and my sons came to me through adoption from the foster care system when I was 44. A totally unexpected surprise. And a blessing. And super hard work!