Join us in the Slice of Life story challenge. Every day for the month of March, bloggers all over the globe are writing their slices and sharing them on the Two Writing Teachers blog.
On Friday, my professional development was thought-provoking and gave me a lot of food for thought. Part of the morning was about Trauma-Sensitive Care in schools. This portion of the morning gave me a lot to think about and made me reflect quite heavily on the trauma that I experienced as a child and teenager. Hearing the information about how certain things might trigger a child even if they are in no apparent danger, really brought me back to my late teen years and even the early years of my marriage in which we navigated some muddy waters because things in our home would trigger my trauma brain.
Then, later in the morning, we were treated to this Ted Talk as part of our training about Educator Effectiveness in Wisconsin. We were delving deeper into the Professional Responsibilities domain of the Danielson framework and in the training we were to reflect on how this message might relate to how we advocate for our students. I thought this message really went hand in hand with the trauma care piece of the morning. If you haven’t seen the Ted Talk “The Danger of Silence” go watch it now. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Some great things to think about here, right? I think what struck me the most about this piece was the way this teacher asks his students to “Tell Your Truth.” I love the spoken word poem and I love the way he focuses on the silences and times when he should have spoken up. Don’t we all have times in which we should have spoken up, but we didn’t?
This training, both pieces of it, struck a chord in me. I have been hemming and hawing and turning some ideas over and over again in my brain. I have some truths to tell. They have been buried in me and have been clamoring to get out since early last fall. But I struggle with the truths. How much of this stuff is not mine to tell? What if telling my truth hurts someone? It is possible that this could be the case.
The biggest truths that I have to tell have to do with forgiveness for wrongdoing that never was acknowledged as such by the person who did it. My truth deals with trauma that changed the way I reacted to other people. It changed me into someone who avoids conflict. It gave me a part of my brain that had a panic reaction with certain triggers. It traumatized me. And, the truth is that it is still something that I have inside of me. I thought I had moved on from it. I have healed myself, I have become confident again. I had even let go, I thought. Until I started to meditate this year. Some of the guided meditations I did brought up the resentment that I thought I had done away with. So now, I am thinking about forgiveness. How do you forgive someone for something that affected you so much? Is it too late to forgive them if they have already passed on? And if you stay silent, how dangerous is it really if it only affects you?
Wow- that is a lot to think about. I appreciate you opening up to the reader about how you still need to work on your healing journey. I hope you find your inner strength will guide you through the decisions that lie ahead of you.
We are foster parents so have had a lot of training (and opportunity to use it!) in trauma-informed care. I have been encouraged in recent years to see that this information is finally reaching our schools, first responders, doctors, mental health workers, etc. If you get the opportunity to see the documentary Paper Tigers, I highly recommend it as well as any information on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). It’s very helpful, especially in the school setting!
I think you need to do what is best for you. This thing that happened to you was a while ago? And it still brings up resentment and anger. I say the only way to go is to deal with it. I know you may hurt others, but are you being true to yourself. I have begun to really think about this in my own life probably about 2 months ago. I am sick of people crapping on me. I have self-esteem so why do I let it happen. It’s the year of me! 🙂 Thank you for sharing your slice!
This writing resonates with honesty! I’m so sorry that you are conflicted over all the things in your past that hurt you so deeply. Although it’s just my humble opinion, I don’t think it’s ever too late to forgive; because, in my experience, forgiveness really helps the person who’s doing the forgiving. I have struggled with forgiveness over the years; and I think it’s very brave of you to address all these things you’ve held in your heart for so long.
I think when you forgive you heal yourself. Jesus knew this well. Holding on to past hurts only hurts you more deeply, adding even more layers of hurt. When you forgive, you free yourself of those extra layers of hurt. You are saying what you did was wrong and wombed me, but I am not going to allow your actions to hurt me any further. I pray for you to find peace. Thanks for sharing your heart here.
We have recently been hearing a lot about trauma informed care and seeking to learn more about it. I will definitely take some time to watch the TED talk you linked. Thank you for your honest reflections in this post.
Wow – what a thoughtful, honest slice. I struggle with forgiveness of my ex – and it has been over 16 years since we separated. There is no time line but I do know we must forgive as it does eat away at us. It doesn’t mean we forget but we can then be cleaned of the anger/fear etc and truly move on. Thanks for the link – I will watch it later. Much to think about!